Welcome to my new favorite segment: That woman’s an immortal, why the hell does she look like a third grader?! 

You know how you’ll be watching a show with magic or superpowers and everything about it is so enjoyable? Great world building, fun powers, epic battles — it’s awesome! You’re really getting into it and then suddenly, a new character joins the plot. This isn’t just any character, mind you. They’re an overpowered creature who’s lived a millennia, can’t be defeated and just so happens to be — you guessed it — a child. A two thousand-year-old that looks like they still get to be the line leader in elementary school. Sometimes this is being used as a tool for lighthearted humor and misunderstandings, but we know it usually isn’t. I think it’s time we start examining why that is. 

Elaine (Seven Deadly Sins)

So there’s a relationship between Gojo prototype #5, Ban, and an immortal baby faced fairy that made everybody uncomfortable. In case you haven’t watched the show, Elaine is the sister of one of the seven deadly sins, King. They’re both fairies, but Elaine and Ban met centuries prior to the sins forming a group. My issue is the fact that despite being that old, one look at her would lead you to think she’s a prepubescent child. Even her voice is extremely juvenile, nevermind the petite frame to boot. I know that it’s common to depict elves and magical creatures as youthful, but this is just creepy. That woman is 1,300 years old, why the hell does she look like she has school lunch debt?

Elaine and Ban as a couple is unsettling for a myriad of reasons. The biggest one for me is that she’s this archaic being with crazy powers, but looks like anybody’s little sister and is technically a cougar in this dynamic. Like why are we just blowing past that? Ban is literally only twenty years into his immortality and is actually forty-years-old. Yes, take a moment to digest that: A forty-year-old man is in a relationship with a child, but it’s okay because he looks twenty and she’s technically a thousand! Who approved that?!

You might be thinking, “But that’s just one show! That doesn’t happen as often as you think.” Well, it does and if you’re like me, you’ve steered clear of shows with this trope because it makes you physically sick. I’m sorry to say, but grab the barf bags folks, we’re diving in.

Hestia (DanMachi)

I’m sorry, but look at them. They’re having fun on a grocery run. I understand that it’s a fantasy world and she’s a goddess, but what is this outfit? Why was it necessary to show me both cleavage and side boob from a low angle? Why is her dress paper thin while he gets to wear a whole jacket? WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THESE COSTUME DESIGNS?!

Anyways, on the show’s Wiki page, she’s described as so petite that it emphasizes her chest, earning her the nickname “Loli Big Boobs”. Not only is she a 4’7” breast display, but she’s also usually barefoot, known to be childish, and gets very jealous of anyone the male lead shows affection towards. It’s just our luck that he’s the only man she’s ever loved, so of course she’s overly possessive of him. (She’s real for that.) In case you’re unaware, the real Hestia she’s based on is from Greek mythology and the only thing these two depictions have in common are their commitment to virginity and being immortal. So glad somebody was paying attention in history class.

Rory Mercury (GATE)

Now you might be thinking this isn’t so bad. She just looks like a young side character in an isekai or something, right? A quick Googling tells you not only that she’s a demi goddess, but also “though ancient, she appears as a thirteen-year-old girl.” Her exact age says that she’s a fresh 961. She is accident prone, fierce in battle, sexually aroused by death, and makes it known that she has feelings for the 33-year-old male lead. Why are we replicating the Elaine x Ban dynamic? Why wasn’t she given a romantic partner as old as she is if they wanted to push romance? Also, I’m expected to believe that an immortal entity opted for the goth loli outfit? Okay.

My guess is the creator wants to live vicariously through his MC and get to touch young girls without any legal repercussions. I mean, this scene alone made my stomach turn. Come on, I’ve read enough fan fiction to know a self-insert when I see one.

Krebskulm (How Not to Summon A Demon Lord)

I don’t care that her final form was an enormous woman in demon armor with her tits out, this is a kindergartner. Plain and simple, this is a little girl in metal nipple stickers. Kreb is by far the worst instance of the immortal baby trope, which is saying something because Elaine was taking the cake five minutes ago. Kreb even has the baby voice and little fang tooth to boot. Never mind that she’s over a century and her demon form is a - cue Steven Universe - giant woman. Let us not look past the fact that she *checks notes* gave Diablo (another 30 y/o male MC) her first kiss as a testament to her willingly forming a master-slave contract with him. With her as the slave.

Yeah…

These are just the few examples I could stomach to look into, I’m sure there’s dozens more. Maybe a few of them aren’t hentai fodder for pedos, who knows? Regardless, the point is that it doesn’t matter if this happens often or not — it shouldn’t be happening, period! No company or creative team should be green lighting these types of characters. I’m fully aware of how normalized perversion can be in Japanese culture, but my god that doesn’t mean we have to accept it! I’m not (currently) asking for a rebirth of anime character design, but I am saying there are better ways to do it. 

Powerful, grown, and she knows it

For argument’s sake, let’s compare Elaine to Bishamon from Noragami. The latter is a thousand-year-old god and depicted as a grown woman. She is mature, wise and calculating. I would expect someone with her type of personality to be older, just more adult like Lady Tsunade, but she makes it work. She excels in battle and is a beloved god in her respective universe. Immortal or not, she’s badass in every scene she’s in and honestly, she knows it. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she’s not a god damn child.

For Christ's sake, Freiren is an elf herself and the creators managed to give her everlasting girlish charm without turning her into a toddler. She’s short, has pigtails and cute little face, but the viewers know she’s not a kid. Much like Elaine, she looks young, but the creators did the work to establish her as an adult. She speaks with the cadence of someone who sees sunsets as mere seconds. Her emotions aren’t quick to rise because she has had eons to practice patience. Frieren even takes care of her two apprentices with an almost motherly strictness. Despite the jokes, there’s no real mistaking her for a child.

All three of these women are over a thousand, it’s not that hard to make them into real adults! You know how I know? It’s not because I took a script analysis course or minored in film. It’s not because I have experience writing immortal characters. Heck, it’s not even because of the positive examples I listed. I know it’s possible because they do it with men all the time.

Immortal men don’t usually look like kids

The Pillar Men, Yato, and Hohenheim Elric are all well past the average human’s expiration date. Any of the Soul Society captains in Bleach, take your pick, make a millennia look like 40. Even All For One is old as dust and he’s both intellectually and physically a beast. At no point am I seeing any of those guys and asking myself why they’re drawn like a child. None of them are getting minimized to keep a fifteen-year-old in the spotlight. If anything, these men are meant to cast Herculean shadows that send their enemies into despair. Although villains of this caliber tend to get defeated by the end, the heroes are typically honored or allowed to live their lives. Meanwhile, if I took a shot for every time that a female character gets that treatment, I would’ve died of thirst a decade ago. 

Master Roshi is like 300-years-old and has a full goatee; y’all can at least give a fairy a fupa!

The shrinking god trope done right

Let's even take it a step further. Say we have a character who is extremely powerful, but either loses their powers or is severely weakened. Most of the time they shrink in size and become a comical version of themselves. Instead of taking goddesses and turning them into elementary schoolers for shits and gigs, why not give them the Dimple treatment? Dimple was a powerful entity in Mob Psycho 100 who was defeated and became the silly little floating character on Mob’s shoulder. Following his defeat, he becomes an integral part of the story as a source of wisdom and comedic relief. Plus, his morally gray outlook on life and character development adds to his charm and makes him beloved by the audience.

If that’s dumbing it down too much because there is still a necessity for a serious character, treat them like All Might. He’s known to be the most powerful hero in the MHA universe, and while his power is diminished, his form is typically petite and frail for most of the series. Just like those girls! Critically wounded in a previous battle, All Might uses his years of experience to mentor and help shape the next generation of heroes. From this, we are given moments that delve into the feelings that comes with realizing you’re not as young or strong as you once were.

I think both of these characters are excellent ways to exemplify a loss of power without actually killing them. All Might and Dimple are devices used to help their main characters progress and add tangible feelings to the story. Wouldn’t an immortal character have the kind of advice one could only get from them? Why is it that men get to be frail old mentors or silly little fart clouds, but women are reduced to hentai fodder? If an immortal woman has to literally shrink so as to not upstage the men around her, what’s she there for? She’s literally just a girl - give her back some agency!

Infantilization is gross!

Immortality is not an excuse to make somebody perpetually prepubescent. What’s the point in making strong characters if you’re just going to water them down for the majority of the series? If she’s living forever, what the hell is she doing hanging around a thirteen-year-old boy? Do you know how pissed I would be if I had to suffer through centuries of life and the only people I get to hang out with are eighth graders? That is a grown woman, give her a margarita and a day off! Being an immortal is not synonymous with pretending to be a minor. This isn’t Twilight.

If that’s too much to ask, at least let their faces develop. Give my girl a tummy, some thicker muscle, a different haircut, boobs that either succumb to gravity or don’t demolish her spine - SOMETHING. Something that shows how time has passed her by. It is exhausting feeling like I’m being groomed to accept pedophilia idealism - even more so when male characters get to experience development and time. Our female characters keep getting this statuesque ballerina treatment; perpetually frozen in time so that they appear young enough to not know better. Young enough to still be innocent and sheltered, too weak to fight back or still needing to be saved. We’re sick of it.

These girls deserve better

I won’t get into the fact that anime often inspires viewers to do their best or push through to achieve their goals, but tropes like these make girls feel weird about their bodies. It makes people feel weird about anime. So many people don’t give it a try because they’ve seen stuff like “Loli Big Boobs” and got weirded out. Let’s not even get into the fact that sexualizing young characters is a tool people with ill ulterior motives use. I won’t mention how these tropes make it easier for young viewers to preyed upon because this normalizes age gaps.

“Girl, it’s anime. Get over it!” No. Why should I?

Why should any of us let predatory behavior slide when its growth is dependent on how much we ignore it? Stop laughing it off and telling yourself it’s fine because these girls aren’t real. They may not be, but it’s part of a bigger issue that has touched almost every girl you know. In case you’re unsure, this is the kind of thing that you shame people for making. (For legal reasons) I’m not saying we should bring back bullying, but start booing these creators. Loudly. And keep booing them until they’re too ashamed to make any more of it.

I know what medium I’m talking about and I know what to expect because I’ve been here for years. I’ve discussed it before. All I’m saying is there’s always room to do better and in this department, that’s all we can do. Not just for our future kids, younger siblings and relatives, but for ourselves as well. Not because it’s owed, but because it’s not a lot to ask that an immortal character be made to look like they’re old enough to file taxes.

And if you’re just into this type of thing, I’m sending the FBI to your door immediately.