(And if they’d get my vote)

Here in America it’s (unfortunately) an election year, which means we’ll be seeing muckraking and promo videos for our YouTube ads from now til November. So in the spirit of politics season, here are some anime characters that would run for president and why or why not they’d get my vote. 

SPOILERS AHEAD - scroll onto the next characters to avoid spoilers

1) Anya Forger (Spy x Family)

Starting off with the cutie-patootie club captain, Miss Anya Forger. IDK about you, but I’m absolutely voting for the telepath who knows how to spot the bad guys and sick her overpowered parents on them without spilling the beans on a secret. The FBI couldn’t get a thing out of her and honestly, I’d follow her anywhere. Maybe her brain isn’t fully developed yet, but at least it’s not deteriorating. Low blow? Well, she’s two feet tall and throws a mean haymaker, you should expect it. 

2) Daichi Sawamura (Haikyu!!)

Next up is Daichi Sawamura, captain of all captains. This is my baby and I could never say a single bad thing about him, but he’d literally only run because Sugawara bullied him into it. If we’re only talking about Karasuno Daichi, yes, he’d get my vote. He’d be pretty down to earth and wouldn’t lose his sense of humanity, but he’d also be really structured, disciplined and determined to see the little guys win. We’d easily get a full four years of peace and schools would undoubtedly receive funding for sports and extracurriculars. He’d be a widely respected, unproblematic president and they’d probably build statues of him in community centers. 

But he’s not getting re-elected when he becomes a cop, oops. 

3) Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Luffy, my son. Sigh. I know he wouldn’t want to work in politics, but just walk with me for a second. 

I would do anything for this guy. As long as it’s not about food, he’s the most selfless little Marxist this world has ever seen. Look at that smile. Look at our JoyBoy! He’s the perfect figurehead to lead a country to the right kind of freedom and you know what? As long as Robin is his VP, Usopp is Head of National Security, and Jimbei is Secretary of State, he’s got my vote. Only because I know he’d leave Robin in charge and Nami would keep him in check. 

Farmers beware, though. A swarm of locusts would leave less damage than when he’s replenishing after a nice sixty episode fight. 

4) Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail)

Speaking of fighters with big appetites, Natsu Dragneel would 1000% throw his hat into the ring and to that I have two words: absolutely not.

Arson would reach new records with his outbursts alone and with global warming? We’d quite literally be cooked. He couldn’t find his dragon dad literally living in his chest and you think he could find a solution to America’s problems? “Delulu is the selulu” personified. Not to mention the scandal of him coincidentally trespassing in Lucy’s house every time she gets naked. Yeah, he’s not seeing the Oval Office. Unless of course, the key to winning is actually to have a sex scandal... Did the White House ever confirm if those tunnels JFK built for Marilyn are real or not?

Now if Happy were running? I’d be sprinting to those polls. 

5) Asta (Black Clover)

Asta’s strength would be in his speech delivery at rallies. It might not be poignant, but he’d say enough to inspire the masses to get them in his corner. As a leader, he’d probably be just okay. I think the learning curve would definitely hinder him, but at least we know he’d never give up on doing what he thinks is right. Plus, having a president that has registered hands is a hilarious flex. The top 1% would rather die than give him the needed funding for anything and congress would keep trying to screw him over, but this short king is a master at getting the right people to believe in him. And who doesn’t love an underdog? 

He’s got my vote as long as he learns to stop screaming into the mic. 

6) Naruto Uzamaki (Boruto: Naruto Next Generations)

The inventor of Talk no Jutsu? The negotiations ninja? Thee childhood trauma champion? Yeah. He’s settling everything with a cigarette and that damn swing story. Matter fact, there’s no slogan for his campaign, it’s just a blue and red picture of the swing where Obama’s face would’ve been with the same “Yes We Can” at the bottom. 

If they run his backstory during NFL commercial breaks, he’d probably sweep. People really love when somebody does the impossible and comes out on top and blue collar America would make him their torchbearer. He’s also a blonde-haired blue eyed white man with a nuclear family. And he’s under fifty? LMAO Naruto would be to them what JFK was to 1960s Christian women under forty. As long as he doesn’t ride around in convertibles, he can have my vote. 

7) Power (Chainsaw Man)

Ah yes, now our psychopaths. 

Power is extremely charismatic and bold enough to say how she feels no matter where she is. As a political figure, that can be rather detrimental to your campaign. Unless, of course, you have a cult following of Christians who think you’re an equal to Jesus H. Christ. That’s another politician, but it’s indubitably something she’d capitalize off of. 

Anyways, Power would have a great run as the fun candidate who’s always unironically putting out new meme material and can get the crowd on their feet with her boisterousness. TikTok would have a million edits of her to the sound “My pronouns are U.S.A. 🗣️🦅” and she’d probably get the votes of many young die hard republicans. Unfortunately, she’s still a Medieval English speaking racist with no home training (though Aki tried his best, bless his heart). You might be wondering what I’m talking about, so here’s the panel her competition would plaster to every billboard in their smear campaign against her.

Love her, but the anti-humanity candidate is not winning my vote. 

8) Eren Yeager (Attack on Titan)

And neither is this one. Eren Yeager wouldn’t get my vote even if he locked me in a room with season three Levi, Reiner and Jean oiled up in nothing but— 

Anyways. I could boil it down to him being the pathetic noncommunicative simp who decimated eighty percent of the planet with supersized flesh monsters because his crush didn’t confess her feelings the one time he asked her after ignoring her their whole lives. (Rejection therapy exists IDK if he knows that.) However, I won’t minimize him to his final few actions. His actions throughout the series though? 

And let me just say this as someone who picked this show up at like fourteen-years-old and stuck with it through the agonizing hiatuses and the two movies Japan released that we pretend don’t exist, the near death of the fandom when everyone lost hope for a second season, and the Eren x Jean shippers of 2014 Tumblr. I always wanted to see Eren succeed. He was the new prodigal son of gettin’ it back in blood and I was here for it. But when he decided to take that literally with worldwide genocide as his answer? I had to take my tears back. Netanyahu would’ve loved him and you Jeagerists can kiss my ass.

I guess nobody told him that teen angst isn’t a good enough reason to sacrifice your friends and community, especially when a majority of them lost their loved ones in the same titan attack that claimed his mom. If this country is worried about what a woman would do as president when she gets her period, Americans should be quaking in their pleather boots at the thought of the self-mutilating, emotionally unstable nineteen-year-old psychopath who gives major school shooter vibes. At least he can count on the NRA to fund him. #ErenWasWrong2024.

9) Satsuki Kiryuin (Kill la Kill)

Lastly, and never the least, we have Satsuki Kiryuin and it’s not even a question. Yes. A million times yes. She’s the only psychopath who was fighting for the safety of humanity, had the balls to publicly execute the head of a major corporation, and said the drip don’t wear me I WEAR THE DRIP. Girlboss is too weak a word for this icon. Do you know how cunt you have to be to be able to stand butt ass naked on a pedestal and tell your butler “Ask not the sparrow how the eagle soars”?! At sixteen?! EXTREMELY. If thirteen-year-old me could’ve tattooed that quote on my forehead she would’ve. Forget a catchy campaign slogan, she’d win the election with that phrase alone. Am I biased? Maybe, but am I wrong? Please. 

Now, these are just a few characters that come from popular shows. Some of them reflect the characteristics of past and present politicians we’ve seen in the limelight, while others embody what Americans can only hope for in a worthwhile leader. If there are any characters that you think would run or want to see campaigning for your hearts, drop some names! Who do you think has what it takes?