It’s spooky season, and nothing is spookier than being publicly horny for anime monsters. So, in the spirit of the season, I’m embracing the cringe and publishing what you’re all too scared to say out loud—and with some added flair! I’ve assigned theme songs that I personally feel embody the spirit of each pick.
From supernatural entities to hybrids, here are some anime monsters I’d shamelessly risk life, limb, and libido for.
1 & 2. Sebastian Michaelis & Undertaker – Black Butler
Anybody wanna take a trip to Paris?
Look, the Girltaku bosses didn’t say I couldn’t list “group projects,” and you can’t start off too strong because a taste for monsters is something you’ve got to be eased into… A demon and a grim reaper are a pretty safe introduction to the horrors I’m willing to explore. They make for a perfectly blasphemous duo to do unholy things with.
A match made in hell for a night that feels like heaven.
3. Uta – Tokyo Ghoul
Those tattoos! The piercings! The “turn around and die” hair! Uta’s for the early 2000s Hot Topic lovers.
There are so many things I could say about Uta’s appearance, but given his ability to shapeshift—that’s not where the appeal is coming from. His craftsmanship and personality give me the impression that he’d be the type to have some particularly lascivious hobbies. I’m sure he’s got a dungeon somewhere in his house where he plays with his masks… And yes, he can keep any of them on.
I’d be a little scared to find out what he considers a normal evening, but that would only add to the excitement of finding out.
4. Dabura Karaba – Modulo
Thanks to MAPPA animating a short promotional video for Modulo, I can add this loving brute to the list on a technicality. You’re doing yourself a great disservice if you haven’t read the JJK spinoff yet.
There’s more than just the plot that’s heavy…
You see the horns? Great for support. You see those earlobes? They double as whips. Dabura is one alien warrior I’d like to experience an otherworldly night with. He could show me the many ways a giant could be gentle.
5. Ryuk – Death Note
There’s something alluring about Ryuk. No, it’s not the bulging gaze with sclera reminiscent of liver failure.
Maybe it’s the Cheshire smile? The snatched waist? The bisexual dangly earring? If only they hadn’t deviated from Ryuk’s original design concept… This is why reverse cowgirl exists though.
Even with a face only a mother could love, Ryuk is proof that having that shit ON can still get you some play.
6 & 7. Muzan Kibutsuji & Kokushibo – Demon Slayer
Vive la France! One visit to the Eiffel Tower isn’t enough, more monsters please!
Could more than tensions rise? I’m thinking one sleepover could turn these enemies into lovers—albeit temporarily. Considering how they feel about each other, I wouldn’t expect any long-term benefits from this type of passion. If they couldn’t be kept going until sunrise, I wouldn’t mind going out with a literal bang.
This one’s for the hooligans who want to be loved like they’re hated.
8. Rien – Hell’s Paradise
Rien’s mind is far more terrifying than their physicality, but I’d take them in any form. IYKYK.
Rien isn’t a hedonist at their core, but their abilities make almost any fantasy possible. Cloning? Shapeshifting? That’s barely scratching the surface. I’m booking a one-way to Shinsenkyo, with Bōchū Jutsu training being the only activity on my itinerary.
Rien can align my Tao any day.
9. The Attack Titan – Attack on Titan
Even those who are averse to monsters will agree with me on this one.
In a world where everyone is constantly running away, I’m running towards it. I can’t give it the freedom it yearns for, but we can explore other forms of liberation. The Attack Titan might be built like a Ken doll, but that’s exactly what makes their physique so perfect for the art of friction. And that tongue? Let’s keep the French theme going with a makeout sesh.
Less rumbling, more fondling.
10. Ryomen Sukuna – Jujutsu Kaisen
Another ride no one would survive, but would that make it any less joyful? I think not.
His Domain Expansion makes him a certified eater, but Sukuna would 100% be into some hardcore BDSM—and that’s okay! As long as we start with a chapter 226, page 16-style embrace in his true form, I couldn’t ask for a better release from this mortal coil. The cover of volume 29 was an invitation.
He’s got two of everything, y’know…
