7 Non-Human Game Characters I’d Let Through My Screen

Every year, I find fun ways to celebrate spooky season. So, why not dedicate a piece to the video game characters I would welcome into my bedroom after the Halloween party? Don’t worry, I have normal crushes too. But today, we’re not focusing on them! Let’s give it up for the creatures; some are terrifying, others should be more afraid of me. 

1. Casper – A Date with Death

A dating sim where the Grim Reaper is the love interest? Yes please! So, turns out the Grim Reaper, Caper, is a dorky man with white hair who is way too serious about his day job. To be frank, I mainly played this game because it was free. I didn’t expect to fall so hard for him. Though, I was not shocked at all during the playthrough, when Casper moved into my apartment… after one week of knowing him. Look, he showed up to my house with sunflowers and listened to me talk about my life as a writer; he can stay! I, in fact, did buy the NSFW expansion of the game so I could get into that bed with him. To keep it cute, let’s just say I had a great time during that scene. 

2. Lazarus– Burn the Midnight Oil

I was actually pissed off while playing the demo for Burn the Midnight Oil and realized I couldn’t romance the entrepreneur vampire because he’s an ex. Look, I know we’ve already dated, and it didn’t go well, but I want him back! Yes, I liked him much better than the datable game characters. A vampire who owns a club, covered in rose tattoos, and has too much free time? This is what I’m talking about when it comes to my vampire boyfriend fantasy.

Lazarus is great for a good time, not a long one. The chemistry is there, but even I’m aware this relationship will be toxic. Will that stop me from hooking up with him if I have nothing going on? NOPE! Lazarus is just hard to resist for me; well, since we can’t date him in the game, let’s head to Archive of Our Own. 

3. Betty – Date Everything!

Date Everything! is an experience, and I knew, once I met Betty, that this was the person I wanted to romance, by the way she smooth-talked me during our first encounter as she played her r&b music. Of course, the bed in the game would be so sensual, and I’m digging it. She’s been in love with me for years, and I think it’s time I gave her a chance.

Her skin is soft, her hair is curly and pink, and she makes me feel safe. If this were the one who welcomed me to bed every night, I would be close to losing my in-person job; I wouldn’t want to get up and leave her too quickly. Looks like we are going to get a laptop and work from home moving forward, so I can stay in bed and cuddle with Betty on the clock!

4. Rafayel – Love and Deepspace

While all the game characters in Love and Deepspace are handsome in their own ways, Rafayel is considered the pretty guy of the bunch. He’s literally a merman! Which works out because if we have a beach day, I know I won’t be drowning. I wouldn’t even really say that his being a merman caught my attention; it wasn’t even just his spicy side (which I do like a lot); it was his love for art that drew me to him more.

My concern is that, when it comes to my interests, I actually want to be able to have a back-and-forth discussion on them! Do we all need to have the same stuff? No, but we need something in common. Why? We need something to talk about after lying down with each other now. 

5. Malevola – Dispatch

The first thing I noticed about Malevola when I played Dispatch is how gorgeous she is. In this case, this is a “do I want to be her, or do I have a crush on her?” The answer is yes, for both. It’s not just her appearance; it’s her aura that truly makes her appealing. I’ll even admit that I’m a tad bit scared of her but still want to kiss her. Girl, do you need anything from me? She can borrow anything from me: my clothes, hair accessories, lip gloss, money that she doesn’t have to pay back. Malevola is a very pretty woman! 

6. Kuras – TOUCHSTARVED

Kuras, you want me to wait for you at the client? Why don’t you just meet me at my house for more privacy? Part of me wants to believe that Kuras is one of the few green flags I have here. He’s an angel, literally! The opposite of a monster. But TOUCHSTARVED isn’t out yet; we only have the demo, and it’s a gothic horror romance. I won’t speak too soon on him. Let’s be delusional until further notice! Yes, sometimes I like my creatures to be toxic, like Lazarus, for the thrill. But I would also like more mythical game characters that are more stable from time to time.

Yes, he’s pretty good-looking, and he knows how to carry on a conversation now, which I like, but that’s not the main reason I’m attracted to him. One major reason I’m keeping Kuras around is so I won’t have to pay to see a doctor; look, American healthcare is expensive! We have to be more mindful about who we pick as our love interests because the benefits do matter! It can’t be just looks and love anymore. Make sure you choose a partner who’s a doctor: it can save you hundreds of dollars on a checkup! 

7. Dante – Date Everything!

Hot Like Fire by Aaliyah? That sums up Dante for the most part. I couldn’t pick just one game character from Date Everything!. He’s the fireplace, one of the few things I like during the winter. Dante is loving and caring; he actually wanted to get to know me. Friends to lovers? I’m feeling him a lot. It just sucks because of the location.

Since I am in the Deep South, Dante and I won’t be together for long, because we only use the fireplace for a month and a half each year. I just can’t give him the loyalty he wants so badly from me. He’s too hot (literally) to be with in the summer! Look, man, I like you, but I also can’t get burnt up now. Boyfriend that you only have during the coldest time of year? I’ll miss him when it warms back up, but he already knows I’m coming back next winter. 

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