Slow burn love tropes, misunderstood actions, confusing relationships – can our favorite shoujo characters solve their communication issues?
A few of the most aggravating dialogues in anime (and probably in real life) have to be:
“Are you okay?”… “Yeah.”
No they’re not okay.
“Rumor has it that–” … “Really?”
*Immediately believes it*
Why does this happen so often?
Yes, you need conflict for the story to be interesting and for the main character to overcome the obstacles in their journey, so that they can become better people, reach their goals and so on. And, these characters with communication issues are typically younger and not expected to be full of wisdom just yet. (It’s the– er, beauty of shoujo manga and anime!)
But I feel as if a lot of the most preposterous moments our faves go through can be solved with telling the truth from the beginning. And, actively engaging and asking questions–and having the emotional intelligence to listen to what the other person is saying before interrupting and jumping to conclusions.
And it’s because our faves can’t communicate properly that they get into situations that could stunt their growth and elongate their path to fulfillment.
Here are moments, from slightly irritating to some of the most bothersome, in shoujo caused their communication issues.
Mixed Vegetables: Avoiding Confrontation
Instead of confronting your parents by saying you don’t want to follow the same career path as them, you decide to concoct a master plan. Which consists of finding a person with a family who has the career path you want, marry them and somehow hope that you can become the heir.
I could not type that without chuckling. But that’s what Hanayu and Hayato sought to do in the beginning.
Thankfully, they quickly realized that it was not a good idea to manipulate one another. Instead, they encouraged each other to find the strength to tell the truth to their parents. Along with teaching each other the skills necessary to reach their dream careers.
Not everyone has understanding parents or wants to hurt their feelings, but it can get to the point where you realize you have one life to live. On what terms do you want to live it?
Kimi ni Todoke: Confessions are scary!
I’m sure some of us have been there. Too scared to confess our love for someone in fear of getting rejected or making them feel uncomfortable. Or worse, losing the existing relationship you had with them. Yet because of this fear you put yourself through self-inflicting situations. For example, getting jealous seeing your crush even interacting with someone else.
So, I understand why it took Kazehaya and Sawako a while to get together. And I think it’s realistic (and admirable at times) because you want to get to know someone better before making it official. (Although for the viewers and readers, it’s a patience tester.)
But once the moment comes and you’re finally with them, you may question: “I could have had this this whole time. This wonderful feeling. Was it necessary to wait so long and put myself through all that pain?”
The pacing of this story isn’t for everyone. It’s a slow burn. And turning the characters’ inability to confess to each other (despite all signs of love showing) into a plot–can turn heads from ingesting this wholesome story. This is especially evident when the most frustrating moments come from multiple communication issues (or rather, not communicating at all.)
Perhaps, that’s the appeal? To each their own…
Agents of the Four Seasons: Grudges…for what?
Lady Hinagiku said it best. Irrational hate doesn’t benefit anybody.
Her empathy really thrives here as Sakura begrudgingly holds hate in her heart for the winter duo. But I understand Sakura’s feelings because she felt betrayed by the only people that could help her find her dearest lady, who sacrificed herself so that the three could escape and live.
That is until she learns the truth through the grapevine: that they too, did not stop looking for her.
Sometimes, we don’t get the opportunity to explain ourselves. Or we do so through questionable actions–and we think we’re making the best judgement. Or that the situation is simply out of our control and we did the best that we could.
It’s understandably complicated when all parties go through such traumatic events. But I think one of the first steps toward healing is to fix the communication issues. And thankfully –to save Agent Autumn– it was necessary to put hatred aside and band together so as to make sure no one endures that same trauma again.
Ao Haru Ride: Rebounds!
The trope of dating someone else to get your mind off of someone, and thinking you will eventually return that same love to them– can never end well, I think. (Even if their partner willingly puts themselves in that position… *cough” Kikuchi *cough”)
I didn’t enjoy watching Kikuchi’s desperate attempts to make Futaba like him when she was in a vulnerable state. She was more susceptible to being deceived into making a rash decision without truly taking the time to process her feelings and heal. At initial introduction, you would think he has her best interest at heart, but it became an unhealthy obsession against Kou.
Futaba on the other hand misunderstood Kou and Narumi’s (codependent) relationship – though, it’s not like Kou made it clear either. And Narumi herself was the typical innocent looking–but conniving side character in love with the main man.
Everyone had a role to play in this complicated quadrangle. But ultimately this all comes down to the fact that they’re all just teenagers doing teenager things because the communication sucks.
Nana: Not Stepping Up to the Plate…Until It’s Too Late
Nobu – some of us were rooting for you!
Hachi and Nobu’s relationship was no doubt–flawed. She had self-esteem issues. He was immature. And to think someone with a savior complex that idolized someone would want to cherish the broken person and do good – hurt only follows.
Nana is one of the anime and manga with the most complex dynamics. Hachi was codependent and needed someone to take the lead, especially with a baby on the way.
She didn’t know who the father was. And on top of that, the pregnancy timeline follows her previous and current relationships too closely.
I too, would be conflicted, Nobu.
Eventually, Hachi made a decision after a long mental fight. And before Nobu could even attempt to come to her rescue and take responsibility for the baby no matter if it was his or not, she chose Takumi. Not because it was a decision that made her happy, but as a soon-to-be mother, she had to think about the baby’s future and what would secure the easiest life for the child…financially, at least.
Peach Girl – Karma Coming Back to Bite You
Would you trust your partner or a stranger? You’d think this was an easy answer, but not for Toji.
It’s like the saying goes– if your partner shares their concerns with you about someone else, and they had history with that person, perhaps consider their feelings first before doubting them. Give them the benefit of the doubt before thinking your partner is being unreasonable and defending someone you don’t really know – then maybe…just maybe…you wouldn’t be easily manipulated into “practice kissing” that very person they warned you about.
Unfortunately, Momo had the same thing happen to her later in the series with Kiley and his brother. She didn’t think anything bad of the brother – why would she? She knew Kiley was a good person, why wouldn’t her brother be as well? Kiley warned her multiple times to stay away from him. Momo continued on and, um, terrible things happened, as you can imagine.
